How to expand your network?

One of the ways to develop new connections is when you are up to something, and you cannot get things done on your own. Now you need to get someone else involved but this someone you need is not in your existing network, you ask people for referrals, and some of your friends, relatives, neighbors, parents, siblings, etc. tell you that go, and talk to this person with my reference., and then you go, meet the person, and both of you find each other useful. Now you engage with the person, say a supplier, or a vendor, or a venue provider, or a mentor, or a customer, and both of you make some commitments like you commit paying an amount in exchange of a service or some supplies, or some venue, or whatever, when both parties honor their commitments, trust is developed, which is strengthened when both parties keep honoring their commitments.

Another way is when two people discover that they share an interest, and they begin to interact in a school, social media, or a conference, or a workshop, any social event, and begin interacting with each other, sharing stuff in which both are interested. This could be ideas, information, aspirations, concerns, pains, etc. However, this may not imply the person can be trusted in the time of need. For example, if you need money, will this fellow help you out? He or she would think, what if I lend him money, and he or she won’t pay me back? I once needed a laptop but couldn’t afford one due to my financial condition! One of my friends gave it to me for free. I also needed a place to work, but could not afford a space, a friend of a friend gave me a desk, and an internet connection to work in his office. I did not know the person at that time, but he trusted me because we had a mutual friend in between. This fellow is still my friend, and we both try to support each other as, and when needed. So you might connect with a lot of people through social media, however, I can tell by experience that you only discover who your true friends are only when you face a crisis in your life, or face a vulnerable situation, or are passing through rainy days.

The number of friend requests, and followers on social media increases when some of my posts get viral or is shared by a person who is already connected to lots of people. However, the real test of the connection happens when you ask for something, and the person in your contact doesn’t disappoint you, and of course vice versa.

So in short, a connection has to be mutually beneficial, reciprocity is the name of the game! and if you are a man on a mission, then over time, you would meet new people, and the existence of mutual interest, reciprocity, the trust will allow the relationship to develop and sustain.

Mis-commitments, dishonesty, selfishness, manipulative behavior, abuse of power, etc. from any side cannot foster healthy relationships let alone sustain them.

The network is the topmost resource an entrepreneur possesses. This is my observation, and the opinion of various entrepreneurs I have interacted with. This is because setting up a business can never be a solo activity. Two stakeholders are fundamentally essential to your start-up, as emphasized earlier as well. (1) The supplier, and the (2) Customer. If you don't have the two in your contact list then the first thing you do is to look for them in your friends, family, neighbors, relatives, etc. contact lists. Ideally having a supplier or a vendor who could trust you with the supplies, and allows you to pay back later is the biggest advantage one can have. On the other hand, having a customer who can trust you with his money, and pays you in advance to receive the product later, is another great blessing. Much has already been written in this context. In this chapter, our focus would be to talk about how one can increase his network, and trust within the existing network.

Building a network is about building relationships. Let’s start with the question, what is a relationship? The relationship is a bond between two individuals where both the individuals are benefiting from each other in a certain way. For example in a mentor, and an apprentice relationship, the apprentice is there to gain from the experience, and wisdom of the mentor, while the mentor earns the satisfaction of contributing positively in the life of his student. The benefit is not supposed to be monetary all the time, there are various sorts of non-monetary, and qualitative types of gains one could experience from all around! What does a parent gain when he or she spends leisure time with his or her kids? The answer can only be known by the parents who understand the happiness when they see their children's faces glittering with joy. What does a relief-work volunteer gain after taking the pain of traveling thousands of miles to a disaster struck area to help the ones devastated by a certain natural calamity? It’s nothing materialistic of course.

The purpose of all these examples is to set the context that the exchange which happens between two individuals to form a lasting relationship doesn't have to be quantitative, and financial at all. People are attracted to you when you have something to offer, like respect, concern, care, empathy, passion to contribute, etc., and all of these things come directly from inside you! and you don't have to be rich to offer all of these.

But one needs to be careful. There are two kinds of people around you! 1) Those who want to take advantage of you or exploit you when you are nice with them, and 2) those who acknowledge your contribution, and want to return you the favor when you do good to them. As per my experience, most of the people I have ever met fall in the category of Type-2, whereas Type-1 is out there but their behavior is mostly conditioned by certain negative experiences in their past. You however need to become a good judge of character so that you don't mistakenly put your trust in the wrong type. This is learned through experience, or probably the hard way! Having a mentor might help as well.

Entrepreneurs need to keep such points in their minds, as their efforts are collaborative! If you already don't have someone in your network who can help you complete the cash flow cycle (from supplier to the buyer), then you can connect with people that would get you through! You may ask yourself: Am I a passionate individual, with a strong character, a disciplined attitude, and shows genuine respect without flattering, if yes then you will find the right person within the network of your network ... if not in your network.

We don't generally connect with people without a referral, this might also happen, however mostly you should find a referral who could connect you with the right person. This would substantially reduce the ice-breaking phase. For this purpose, it’s a great idea to be in the good books of certain people who are very well connected to lots of people. Like presidents of various associations for example. So instead of going directly, you might ask the well-connected fellow to introduce you with the right person.

Another important aspect of networking is being clear with your values. When two individuals who agree on certain values meet each other for the first time, it doesn't take much time to connect. However on the other hand when the values don't match, matchmaking isn't much possible. You might ask if someone has something you need, but he or she believes in some other types of values (vulgarity, showoff, etc.), and you might have to compromise on your values, to reach to them, then my dear friend, you need to ask, where your values yours in the first place as you prefer to compromise them for some short term benefit? Remember your integrity standing on the strength of character is one of your strongest assets! Losing it would mean losing everything you have accumulated over the years unless you are a celebrity for whom any kind of publicity negative or positive would increase in his or her fame...

I have an introverted personality, and in a networking event connecting with someone whom I don't know is the last thing on my mind. However, if I feel interacting with a certain individual will help me advance my passion in a certain way, then I find the courage to do so. Recently I went to a conference in Doha, where I asked questions to the speakers to make myself noticed to various notable scholars. Being a part of such events in any capacity brings you lots of opportunities to interact with lots of people, and subsequently stumbling upon certain people with mutual interest.

Remember it’s a very long term, iterative, and continuous process! Having a short term, self-centered approach, and impatience can be counterproductive. If you perceive a contact as a means to an objective higher than your selfish-materialistic-interest, then the possibility of a strong connection might increase substantially. You cannot make friends for the sake of making friends but in the process of achieving a higher cause.

But isn’t entrepreneurship is about making money! It is, and it isn't! Any successful entrepreneur would admit that money comes when you put the benefit of others before your self-interest. It is like karma at work, primarily you have to think about benefiting or helping your customers at large, and they in return become loyal and generate positive word of mouth.